Chapter 3..

People get drunk, high and have a good time in the club, its easy to get "caught up in the moment". There can be so many fails, scandals at clubs, no wonder why most people (people who are ashamed) see me and act like they don't talk to me in person at clubs. It’s quite funny how some people do the "obvious" look away when I stare at them. Then they come to the door and act like we hang like nuts.

Jab yourself.

At one club, I got told by one of the bartenders that he thought something dodgy was happening in the toilets. The toilets in this club, you could easily see over the door to see who is in the cubicle.

I walked into the toilets and looked over the door.

A guy was sitting back on the toilet seat, with the biggest smile in the world. When I looked down to see the girl, I noticed that she had big shoulders, and arms with a lot of definition. That's when I realised it was a drag queen giving head to another guy.

Admittedly, I ran out laughing, and I went up to the front door. I went to the head doorman and asked whether he could lift a patron out of the toilets. He goes down to the toilet and yells out real loud. I hear a guy yell, followed by a male screaming like a female lol. 

The guy comes outside, and is getting angry and swearing at us. His friends notice him getting kicked out and they all ran outside as well. He starts hyping up and his boys start getting angry. I find out, that it’s his stag night, and the whole stag party was now outside. A guy comes down, and asks politely why their friend got kicked out, they wanted to know. He explained that it was his stag, and that the groom was with a chick in the bathroom.

I pointed at the drag that was now sitting down on the seat up from the club, fixing its make up. And said "That is the girl that was giving him head"

The best man looks at the drag and bursts out laughing and tells the rest of the stag.  The grooms face at first, was of shock. 

Then it to turned into realisation, and he ran off. His stag ran after him laughing.

I never saw him ever again. I wonder if he got married.

A lot of scandals happen in the toilet. I remember seeing a NSW rugby legend passed out in urinal. I radioed all the security guys to help me get him out. Most of the guys were Queensland fans and we were all laughing. 


A majority of you would have at one time, had sex, or thought of having sex in the club toilets. That shit is disgusting. Pubes all over the place, piss on the floor, you most likely would of caught something.

I also remember at the end of the night at one of the clubs I worked at, there was a guy passed out in the toilets. Fucked up thing was his pants were down and he had shat all over himself. Me and the other security guards were yelling out and laughing, trying to wake him up without touching him. I threw a glass of water on him and he woke up. He looks up, apologises and pulls his pants up. We nearly spew as he walks past us. We follow him out of our club, he turns the corner, and joins the line of another club.

Fucked up thing, he made it inside the next club hahaha No lies. 

  

Remember, we see it all, girlfriends cheating on boyfriends, boyfriends being sluts. The best one was my mate, outside telling me he is going to be a better man to his wife. He was going to be a loyal husband from here on out, and that thing's were different now. Couple hours later I see him sandwich in between two girls. He has his arms stretched out, and his face looked like he was in a state of true bliss. Then he opened them and saw me, and ran off. Hahahaha Musicians aye lol We still laugh about it now. I think he is only a slut when he see's me lol 


And don't think its just you that fail, bouncers fail too.. and some, fail miserably. I worked with this guy, and he literally had every girl after him. But he was a freak, and was quite open about it. A dwarf walks into the club, and sits by him. They start drinking, 15 mins later he has her on his lap and he is bouncing her up and down.


No lies, the next night at work, he started describing to us the sex they had hahaha And he was a GIANT compared to her hahaha

We all fail, its all good, blame it on the liquor, blame it on that time of the month, blame it on your hoe tendencies, blame it on your boner. Your not a full time slut, just a part time slut.

Remember, love your wife, and not everybody else's wife. 

Change your life.


Eti RedScarf