View from the door..

So, I been working in the clubbing scene since 1999, that's a shit load of time. For ages alot of people have been saying I should write a blog about things I have seen. I have done alot in terms of security. I have worked in small clubs, to large venues. I have done personal security for a lot of touring artists in Auckland, from Memphis Bleek and Young guru, Naughty By Nature, Brian Mc Knight, Lupe Fiasco... just to name a few. haha I have become something of a "famous bouncer" if that makes sense. I also look after a few clubs, so at this current time, Im head of security for Hitch Bar and Be Club.

Now what I don't get, is that guys that try and catch ur eye to skip the line. When there is a long line outside, you have so many people come to the door with excuses to cut through. Some are hillarious lines "I need to go inside sir, cos Im really horny" (personal favourite) other people do the whole "Do you not know who I am?" Girls will try and show a lil more clevage and batter there eyes at you. But the worst is the male that trys to catch your eye.
Nothing more pathetic than seeing a guy act like that. I respect you more if you come up and just talk to me lol Guys that act like groupies, you just need to uppercut yourself. Don't try and kiss the bouncers ass, because nobody likes an ass kisser. Lol some of these guys do more than kiss ass, they blantantly pash your ass ha ha Unless your my girl, or Salma Hayek, pls, don't kiss my ass.

It gets worse when they try and bribe me with $5-$10 to skip the line, if thats what your flashing buddy, why the hell should I let u in? lol

Im not an asshole by the way, Im just paid to do a job. We get angry at the Parking warden for writing up your ticket, but thats his JOB, it dont mean he's an asshole. People want a club with hot girls, and good lookin dudes.. so what the fuck would I let your dirty ass in? lol Im just good at being honest haha

Some guys get all angry and puff up there chest when I don't let them in, lol I'm sorry, but you got a hair cut like T Boz, your wearing tight jeans and something that looks like a blouse. Its like they stare real hard at u.. like they gonna memorise your face.. Hope they don't go home and have an angry wank over it lol Relax homie, there are so many clubs in Auckland, u don't NEED to come into this one club.

Classic one is the guy who gets denied.. then starts swearing and saying shit like "fuck this place anyway, didn't want to come in here" hahaha if you didnt want to come in homeboy, why did u line up in the first place, pls, jab yourself.

You have the guy, who not only threatens you, but seems to get bigger and louder... the further they move away from you. Some guys need to grow up, that shit is childish. I've had guns pulled out on me before... twice, and they didnt give me a lecture when they were gonna do it lol They just pulled them out haha

You have the annoying guy who just let in, just so you don't have to talk to them. And they go on and on about shit that ain't funny, talk about getting bitches (which they usually don't) and all they wanna do is just hang like nuts. Yiah.. no. Im sorry, but does my face looks like it gives a fuck? hahaha I'm playing, but if your annoying, pls, go plank in the middle of the motorway.

But not all guys are rude dudes, I met some real cool guys on the door, majority of the guys i actually talk to, they are my peoples. And im usually cool with there partners.. but funny ones are the guys that ask me nicely "Yo, can you give me a heads up when my mrs come's through?" hahahaha PLAYING UP hahaha I got ur back like bra strap boys.

Anyway, thats todays blog, and for a first, I think its okay. Be safe everyone, be cool, and let Jesus into your life so he change your ways... But tell Satan to first get out of your bedroom lol



Eti RedScarf